Adios, 270s!!

Okay, so quick update from my appointment yesterday.  Weight: 266.5! :-o

Apparently, the pain I've been having on my left side is completely normal and as long as I don't feel as though it is worsening, all will be fine.  I was advised to use a heating pad; this should help. 

So with my new weight of 266.5, I have lost 27 pounds in a little over 2 weeks and I have lost - get this - 84 pounds since the birth of Jamie.  HOLY LOTTA FREAKIN' WEIGHT GONE!

Now for some seriously bad news:  Jamie and I are sick.  I have so much nasal drainage going into my new tiny little stomach that I feel nauseous all the time.  I try to cough it up, but have absolutely NO luck.  Anyone else who's had the surgery have any suggestions?  It's been so bad that I've been hugging the porcelain god several times today, dry-heaving and having a good ol' time...  I seriously do not know what to do... I am completely miserable.

Maybe this is due to the fact that that I am sick and feeling crappy, but yesterday I admitted that I am in shock... can't believe I have done this.  Sometimes it feels like a dream (a bad one...).  I know it will get better, but right now this sucks.  I can't drink enough, I can't eat what I want to eat, and the things I do eat are making me feel even worse.  Now, it is possible that this is due to the fact that nothing tastes good with snot, right??  There are probably people that will read this and say, "I told you so!" and to you, I say, "Kiss it!"  Like I said, maybe I am just so down-in-the-dumps because of this cold. 

Tomorrow is New Year's Day.  I got a very sweet and unexpected card from a friend the other day that said I'm an inspiration to many... and she wrote, "Happy New Year and Happy New YOU!"  It's crazy to think that next year at this time, I will be 80, 90, maybe even 100 pounds lighter.  These feelings can be very overwhelming.  Maybe this is why they tell you to stay on your depression and anxiety meds after the surgery.  HA!  I was off of mine for about 2 weeks and I could totally tell.  I cried almost the whole way through Toy Story 3 AND for 45 minutes AFTER IT ENDED!!!

Maybe this is TMI, but trying to throw up now is so very difficult.  It mostly ends up being a lot of dry-heaving and crying.  I wonder if you can have mucus sucked out of your nasal cavity? ...that would help a lot.  I sort of wish I had Jamie's problem - a snot faucet... then I could at least blow my nose to get it out.  But mine is just post-nasal drip.  Gross... I feel completely gross.

The end.

A Long-Overdue Update - 2 weeks post-op

Hello, everyone!  Sorry for the delay.  I have not updated lately... I guess the excitement of Christmas with Jamie got the best of me.  We had a great holiday... but it was definitely very difficult to go to all of the Christmas festivities with TONS of DELICIOUS FOOD everywhere and not be able to eat anything. :(

Well, two weeks post-op now and I would say that I feel okay.  I've still got pain in my left side that really bothers me when I bend, twist, etc.  I am hoping this is normal... but I will discuss with the doctor at my appointment Thursday.  I had stopped taking the prescription pain meds a few days after surgery, but had to start taking them again due to this horrible left side pain.  Last dose of Rx pain meds was Sunday... so we are making progress.  I got to drive today!  YIPPEE! 

So here's my list of complaints:
1.  I want to eat (CHEW) something - ANYTHING!  I'm totally OVER the liquid diet thing...
2.  Left-side pain (see above)
3.  I've been off work for the past 2 weeks, so I've been able to nap with Jamie at least once, sometimes twice a day.  The "2:30 crash" is very real... it's totally naptime.
4.  I want to eat something.
5.  My house is a bloody disaster after Christmas with a toddler and I can't do all of my cleaning yet.  I Never thought I'd wish I could clean my bathtub!
6.  GIVE ME SOMETHING TO EAT!!!!!!!!

Okay, it's not that I am necessarily "hungry", I just want to eat something that's not pureed.  I don't want to eat a whole pizza... I want to chew 2 ounces of tuna or some Eggbeaters...

Drinking water is much easier at work because there's not a handsome little 1 year-old trying to pull my drink cup off of the table.  It's great to have my water bottle sitting on my desk and I can sip, sip, sip all day long. 

I have UNOFFICIALLY lost about 23 pounds in 2 weeks.  I will make an official weight loss statement on Thursday after my appointment.  But - according to my bathroom scale, I'm down 23 pounds.  This is not hard to fathom when you think about how I've eaten next to nothing for 2 weeks.  Thankfully, though, I do not have crazy hunger pains... I just eat something because I know I need to do so.  Just want to be able to eat something different.  So, I guess my "complaints" list was misleading.  So sorry.

More Thursday after my appointment... hopefully we'll get the green light to advance the diet! :)

One Week Post-op!!

Well, I've made it a whole week!  I feel better than I thought I would at this point.  My biggest complaint is pain in my left side/abdomen.  This is normal though, as this is where most of the big "cutting" instruments were located during surgery (so I've read...). 

Jamie can scarf down a giant banana in about 5 minutes and that makes me insanely jealous.  Last night I told Jay that I would kill for some tortilla chips and salsa.  His response?  "Want to watch me eat some??"  He's such a joker.

I'm going to venture out into the Wal-Mart pre-Christmas madness today (Jay doesn't know this yet; he'll have to take me, as I am not allowed to drive yet).  I want an immersion blender and I need to get a few groceries to make a few soups that I've heard are DE-LISH the first couple weeks post-op.  I also want to make a vanilla custard.  This is going to be my little dessert at Jay's parents' house Christmas day while everyone else is eating something sinfully delicious.  However, Jay's dad, Ryland, who is a diabetic, will be able to enjoy the vanilla custard with me, as it is sugar-free!  Hopefully it tastes as good as it sounds.

So after one week of consuming nothing but liquids and pain pills, I have dropped 15 pounds.  I was 293 when I came home from the hospital; this morning, the scale read 278!!  Last Christmas, I weighed somewhere around 340-350.  SO - this is great progress.  I've been trying to set a "goal" weight, but I really don't know what I want.  The most important thing is that I am healthy.  I want to be able to shop in regular stores... and I want to be able to buy a CHEAP bra!!  This may sound absurd, but I have to pay (usually) between $30-40 for ONE BRA and this is insane when Wal-Mart sells bras for $10!!  Of course, I need to remember that my boobies might still be enormous after I lose the weight.  Then I'd have to go to Victoria's Secret and still pay $30-40 for ONE BRA.  Boo!!!

SO - I've made it through the first week.  And I feel certain that I will start to feel even better once I can add food to my diet.  Thanks for all of your prayers!!  Hope you get all of your Christmas shopping done!!  4 days left!! :)  Love y'all!!!

Hallelujah!! A pre-Christmas miracle?!

Okay, so I am SOOOO excited about ONE thing: I LIKE COTTAGE CHEESE!!!

This is totally crazy because before Monday, the mere thought of cottage cheese made me turn green.  It is one of the very few foods I am allowed to eat during my post-op 2-week "full liquid" diet, so I decided to pick up a container of Breakstone's (I figured if I was gonna do it, I'd get the expensive one...) and see what might happen when I took a bite.  DE-LICIOUS!!!!!  It is absolutely insane to me that my taste buds changed so quickly.  I think it is the most delightful thing I've eaten since Sunday.  I might have it for every meal.  It's loaded with protein, so it's a great choice, anyway!!  I have heard that Ricotta cheese is even better tasting... anyone care to comment??  So excited!  YAY YAY YAY!!

Also, I never thought I'd get excited about blenderized Chicken Noodle Soup but that's what I had for dinner last night and it was heavenly, as well.  I am having a really hard time with this protein powder mess.  Whose idea was this, anyway?  Why can't I just eat cottage cheese all day?

In other news, I am taking only 1/2 of a pain pill at a time since Friday afternoon.  I am feeling pretty good.  I still have a lot of abdominal discomfort and difficulty bending down.  Jay, Jamie and I rode to Farmville today and went to Belk so I could get a Christmas present for Jay (how romantic - I had to have him drive me!!).  It was an enjoyable outing with the fam.  I will say this: I think I have the best-behaved baby EVER!  This child does not make a peep when we are in a store.  God is so good... he must know how annoyed I used to get when a child was screaming his way through a store.  (Thanks, Big Guy!!)

I have prepared EVERY breakfast, lunch AND dinner for Jay and Jamie since I returned home.  I will admit, sometimes I get bummed that I'm not able to eat what they're having, but I remind myself that, eventually, I will eat it again.  And, as I have heard and read so many times before surgery: "Nothing tastes as good as thin will feel!!"  Still performing that aspect of my wifely duties makes me feel a little less of an invalid. 

I am almost half-way through my full liquid diet.  I CAN DO THIS!  After I get through the next 9 days, I can add tuna, canned chicken, egg substitute, etc.  I am pumped!!  Watch out, y'all!  I'm ready to run.

Shower Power!!

Disclaimer: still on pain meds.

I just took my first shower since Sunday evening and I feel GLORIOUS!!  I have only been able to "wash up" since surgery because of the pain pump that I had in.  Tonight I removed the pain pump (on my own, mind you) and was in the shower within 5 minutes!

Removal of the pain pump
Okay, I admit, I built this up to be much more than it really was... I was totally terrified, thinking I was going to pull an organ out with it... but it came out nice and quick.  There was about a foot of catheter in my abdomen.  As I was pulling it out, Jay kept saying, "Oh, man... oh, man... there's more?! Oh, man..."

Now I can see that there are 5 holes in my body from this surgery (NOT including IV sites).  Three incisions between 1 and 3 inches, one hole from the pain pump, and one hole from the drainage tube.  I debated taking a picture, but I don't think anyone wants/needs to see my fat belly.  However, once I have lost weight, maybe I'll post a picture of my scars.  Haha.

The shower was AMAZING!  Oh my gosh, I don't think I've ever been so excited to wash my hair.  I made the water nice and hot and just stood under it for a while.  I was able to do everything on my own, although bending over is still quite uncomfortable.  I feel like I am at 70% now... which I think is pretty good considering I just got re-plumbed.

One of the most difficult things thus far has been not being able to pick up Jamie.  I am on lifting restrictions until 2 weeks post-op.  Jamie just doesn't understand, though.  But we will get through it.  Another obstacle has been trying to drink and eat everything they have instructed me to eat/drink.  As I mentioned, I am on a full liquid diet for 2 weeks.  I am to have protein supplements 3x/day... but it tastes like poo!  It can ruin the flavor of anything REALLY fast.  I just need to hold out.  Eventually, I will be able to eat real food again... it just seems so far away right now.

What do I want to eat?  Soup (that is not destroyed by protein powder).  I'm sorry - they say the protein powder is "UNFLAVORED" and to that, I say, "bull$#&%!"!!

I am actually weighing about 2 pounds more right now than I did Monday morning.  But I guess this is because they pumped me full of IV fluids for 3 days.  I am okay with not losing anything quite yet.  I'm sure it will start falling off soon enough.

Okay, Chatty Cathy is going to retire for the evening.  (Good thing I didn't have surgery on my hands...)

Night, y'all! 

2 days post-op... what a ride...

Okay, here I am, 2 days after surgery updating my blog.  I can't type worth a hoot for some reason (must be the pain meds), so please excuse any typos.

The day of surgery was hell.  I'm not gonna lie or sugar-coat anything.  Apparently I am extremely sensitve to anesthesia and pain meds because I could NOT keep my eyes open for more than 2 minutes.  I was in recovery for several hours because my blood pressure was outrageously high and they couldn't get it stablized.  I remember the nurse in recovery asking what my pain level was and I said "86".  ??  Who knows... maybe I was stuck between 8 and 6.  I moved to my room with a morphine pump... which just enabled me to be out of it even longer.  There is a fair amount of pain on my left side mainly.  But the meds do help it...

Yesterday started off with a trip to nuclear medicine for an upper GI.  This was MISERABLE!  First, they make you drink this nasty liquid so they can see how everything's moving around.  The drinks made me incredibly nauseated.  Also, I was still having trouble staying awake.  This is when they determined that I am extremely sensitive to meds.  So they took me off od the morphine pump and started giving me a liquid-form pain med.  It was so gross... it made me ALMOST throw up.  I was dry-heaving for about half an hour.

I finally got a patch to help with the nausea.  It's a cute little silver patch behind my ear.  I have no idea how long it lasts, but Dr. Jay told me to keep it on since I'm not having any nausea.  Haha.  It's my "bling" from the hospital. 

Today was better in many respects, although I had several "bumps".  The nurse removed my drainage tube - HOLY $#*%!!!  THAT was very painful.  I still have my oh-so-sexy fanny pack on with my On-Q pump; this will be removed when it's empty.

I WANT TO TAKE A SHOWER!!  My hair is so greasy, you could probably fry an egg in it.  (I know - that's gross but I felt y'all needed a visual.)  I did eat a sugar-free Jell-o.  It's amazing how bad they taste when you have to eat them so slowly.  I've also been sipping on a 16.9 oz bottle of Dasani since the ride home... I'm only half way through it.

The ride home was bumpy and painful.  I kept a pillow in my lap, but it didn't help much.  Jay went through the Wendy's drive thru and bought french fries, a bacon cheeseburger, and a diet Coke.  Is this his idea of cruel and unusual punishment??  Nah, it's okay.  It did smell good, but I really didn't want to eat it and I know he hadn't eaten anything yet.  I made him a pizza for dinner... which also smelled heavenly!  Oh well... I keep telling myself that it will all be worth it in the end.

As I was sitting in the house alone when Jay went to pick up the baby, I realized that I am a little scared now.  I've been fat my whole life.  What if I can't do skinny?  It will be SO STRANGE to not be the fatty.  It was just a really weird feeling.

Well, here's to the beginning on my new body.  I'm on liquids ONLY for 2 weeks.  Please keep praying - this is gonna be a long, difficult road.

LSD Day 7

Day 7 on "LSD" and feelin' groovy!  I even managed to make it through the weekend and ate at Wendy's!!  I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich (plain) and a side salad.  I ate half of the side salad and half of the chicken breast.  I gave the other half (and bread) and rest of the salad to Jay.  I think I did really well, considering the circumstances. 

The reason we had an unexpected trip to Richmond: we took Jamie to see Santa Claus at the Children's Museum of Richmond.  How exciting!  ...and extremely over-priced!  But, I guess it's worth it when you consider that your little baby is only going to sit on Santa's lap at age 1 once!

It was extremely difficult for me to drink enough liquids while we were galavanting through Richmond.  I know I didn't drink nearly the 64 ounces I'm "required" to drink on my LSD.  Nothing new to report right now... I guess nothing exciting will happen until next week.  BUT - I have lost about 6 or 7 pounds since Wednesday! Yay!

The hospital does have Wi-Fi... so as long as my darling husband can survive without the laptop, I'll be able to update, blog, etc. while in the hospital.        

Miscellaneous thoughts and weird dreams... I'm lovin' it!

Last night was a night of wonderfully weird dreams.  I had a dream about people telling me I shouldn't do it.  It was SOO funny!!  In my dream, Jay and I were sitting in a restaurant (??? i think...) and a bunch of people I grew up with who always made fun of me for being fat were there, too, and they were making comments about the surgery.  And I turned to Jay and said (LOUDLY, of course, so everyone could hear me): "You know, it's wonderful that there is a surgery to help me with this… too bad there's not a surgery covered by insurance to help people not be so ugly!!!"  Ha!

My other dream was about shopping with Kim Kardashian.  ???  Who knows… but she told me once I lose weight, to come to her store and she’ll help me find the PERFECT clothes.  I have no idea how this absurd idea got into my head…   Ha ha! 

Enough about the dreams… back to surgery.  I've done my research.  I am EDUCATED about the surgery.  I know that bariatric surgery got a lot of negative publicity years ago because of complications, etc., but it has advanced SO MUCH.  The risk of having gastric bypass now is the same as a woman giving birth to her first child. 

I hear people say that they know people who’ve had the surgery that are “ugly” now.  Well, hate to break it to ya, but this surgery doesn't make you pretty, it just helps you lose weight.  DUH!!  If you are ugly now, you were probably “less fortunate” (ugly) before.  The surgery is a TOOL and if you don’t use the tool correctly (i.e. eating like you did BEFORE surgery), you’re not going to be successful and you’ll gain the weight back.

So I’m now on day 4 of the liver shrinking diet (or “LSD”) and I feel fantastic!  It’s amazing how quickly my body has adjusted to eating less.  Don’t get me wrong, I do get hungry between meals, but I can have sugar-free gelatin and sugar-free popsicles to curb the hunger.  I was completely satisfied last evening after eating my turkey sandwich and cup of veggies.  This will be the key to success: eating until satisfied – not FULL, but SATISFIED.

I’m getting more excited by the day.  I know that as long as I follow the doctor’s orders, I will have wonderful success.  If you push the limits, you will fail, so I’m going to try my best to not break the rules.  There are things I will miss (Diet Coke, chocolate candy, ice cream, cheesecake) but these are the things that led me to a BMI of 44.5.  I’m ready to LIVE MY LIFE the way God intended.  I truly believe that this is God’s plan.  He has already written my story, I’m just living it.  I am truly blessed!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” –Jeremiah 29:11

the NIGHTMARE of pre-op testing

I headed to Richmond yesterday morning with Slim Fast in hand.  I sipped away at my meal replacement in naivety... besides water, this would be the ONLY thing I would ingest until returning home at 8:45pm!

My appointment at the surgeon's office with the nurse practitioner was scheduled for 10:20am but I was told to arrive early, so I arrived at 10:10.  They didn't call me back until 11:10... so I had lots of time to make new friends in the waiting room.  The nurse practitioner was super nice.  And I haven't gained any weight since I was there last time... even though I ate like a heifer the week of Thanksgiving (knowing that I had to start starving myself this week).  So that was very exciting!!  Found out that I will come home with a pain pump/numbing agent in a FANNY PACK (totally sexy, right?!?!) that I will have to remove myself.  Yippee...  Anyway, this appointment was fairly uneventful aside from the fact that it took about an hour and a half.

So, down to Pre-Admission testing I go.  (It is now about 11:40am)  Gave them my name and waited...  They called me to pre-register around 11:50 and then I headed to the Pre-Admission Testing (PAT) nurses.  (Time: 12:00pm)  The waiting room is FULL and NO ONE is talking.  Now, if you know me well, you know this was KILLING ME.  I'm naturally a "Chatty Cathy" and was dying to talk to someone - ANYONE - as I waited... and waited...  Didn't get called into a room until 12:45.  My RN was named Victoria and had to have been from Ireland or Scotland or somewhere because she had the most FABULOUS accent and was a total riot.  She starts putting my orders in and realizes that the doctor's office did not send all of the orders for labs they needed to draw and flips out.  It's funny to be sitting in someone's office and hear them repeatedly mumble "shit" in a foreign accent.  Anyway, 30 minutes later, we still don't have orders for the lab work, so I'm told to wait in the lab waiting area. (Time: 1:15)  Long story, I know... but y'all need the details, right??  SO - they didn't even call me back to start my lab work until 2:40!!  I was IN TEARS because I was just so frustrated at this point.  Remember, too, that I haven't eaten anything...  After drawing 7 tubes of blood and giving a urine sample, I still had to go for a chest x-ray and an EKG - AND my 4-hour mandatory pre-op class started at 3pm.  I left PAT at 3:05pm.

My pre-op class was amazing, though.  I feel MUCH more comfortable and prepared for the surgery.  The class was instructed by a bariatric nurse and dietician.  If I'm not ready now, I'll never be.  It's going to be a rough road but one worth traveling.