Long overdue...

So, I was emailing Jay's cousin who has been an absolute blessing to me, both pre- and post-op, since she has gone through this, as well, and I realized that I should just steal (most of) my email to her and blog it since I really need(ed) to update.  (Sorry for the run-on...)

I bought some frozen fruit b/c I have really wanted a cold "shake"-type drink.  Any suggestions on what to mix it with?  I am afraid to use any type of juice b/c of all of the sugar in it.  I bought a mix of frozen berries and peaches.

I am having a hard time fighting "head hunger" lately.  Jay's work schedule has been all over the place and when I'm alone, I'm a total emotional eater.  I eat when I am bored... (must have been bored most of my life...)  I'm trying to make smart decisions, but sometimes I just want to eat something that I definitely should NOT be eating... (like a whole Butterfinger... which I haveN'T done, but, oh, how I have dreamt about it...)

I am down to 215-ish (my scale will give me a different reading each time I step on, so I average them...)  The CRAZY part is this: I am STILL considered OBESE!!!  WTH?!  I've lost almost 80 pounds in 5 months, almost 140 pounds in the past 18 months, and I'm STILL A FATTIE?  This makes me sad... and, honestly, a little pissed off angry.

A lot of people don't recognize me at first now, which is weird - and sometimes really nice if it's someone I WISH wouldn't recognize me.  I see a change but I don't think it's that much of a difference yet.  I do, however, see myself every day, which could be the problem.  I'm wearing some 14-16 shirts now and mostly 18 pants (though I do have a couple pair of 16s that I wear).

I have had a heck of a time getting the energy to exercise.  I don't know why, but I feel sooo tired all the time.  Wait... actually, I do know why: I have a toddler, a full-time job, AND MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS.  DUH! 

Favorite things to eat & drink right now:

Strawberries

Crystal Light Peach Tea

WATER

Salads

1/2 ham & cheese sandwich
1/2 homemade "hamburger", no bun (props to Meri Page for the recipe idea)

Foods I'm totally OVER:
CHICKEN (it's a love/hate relationship)
eggs
chili (I've been over this since about 2 weeks post-op... the thought of it makes me nauseous)

And... the things I'm craving:
Oreo cookie blizzard (probably never again...)
strawberry milkshake
Butterfinger(s)
Almonds - does anyone know WHEN or IF I can ever eat these again?  They are full of "good" fat...
CHEEEEEEESECAKE!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, y'all... I hope everyone that needs to lose is busy being a BIG LOSER!  :)  Love y'all! 

Approaching 3 months!

Well, here we are - 3 days short of my 3-month mark.  I have officially lost 56 pounds since surgery and am currently weighing in at 235.5 pounds.  Has it been an easy road?  Absolutely not.  Has it been worth it so far?  Totally!!

To date, I have lost over 116 pounds.  The emotions that come with a change like this are unbelieveable.  Some days, I still see my 352 pound body when I look in the mirror.  And others, I think, "well, daggone!  I am lookin' good!"  When I'm out in public, I find myself wondering if people are starring at me the way I thought they used to... I'm still plenty overweight, but much less than I had been.  This is enough to drive you insane.

Eating has gotten much easier.  I am unrestricted now (but monitoring fat and sugar VERY closely).  Some of my favorite things to eat are chicken w/ barbeque sauce (watch the sugar content), Ruffles Light chips (fat free), and fresh fruit and veggies.  I am addicted to Crystal Light Peach Iced Tea and drink it daily. 

I met with my surgeon 2 days ago and he said everything looks great on paper and in person.  I explained to him that I don't really get "hungry" anymore and he informed me that that usually returns somewhere between 6-9 months post-op.  (can't wait.........)  I still try to measure my foods at every meal, although at this point, I am pretty good at "eye-balling" the 1/2 cup serving.

Next weekend is my first social event in my "new" body.  Jay's cousin is getting married in Philadelphia and I am singing in the wedding.  I will post pictures... new dress is on its way to me!!  Maybe I can figure out how to do a side-by-side shot of before and current. 

Bottom line - I am feeling great and even though I have had bad days every now and then, I would definitely do this again in a heartbeat.  Love y'all!!

Hello, 18... haven't seen you in a while...

So I know I've been a total slacker with updating this... I apologize.  I am now 7 weeks post-op and feeling great!  At my last appointment with the surgeon (@ 6 weeks post-op), I had lost 37 pounds.  37 pounds in 6 weeks!!!  YAY!  (And according to my at-home scale, I'm down 3 more since then... so 40lbs total)  He is pleased with my weight loss and I am so excited that I finally feel human again.  I won't lie: the first month post-op was really difficult.  It was mentally exhausting.  The thoughts that race through your mind all day long are crazy!  I was afraid to eat for fear that it would make me sick.  And, the diet is so restricted in the beginning that you get really tired of eating the same thing(s).  However, week 4 was the turning point and now I am feeling fabulous!  Yay!

Well, my clothes are huge on me.  I started this journey wearing a size 24.  My 24s literally fall off of me now, so I headed to CATO to buy some inexpensive transition clothes.  (For my fellow Yankees, CATO reminds me of Fashion Bug, but cheaper...)  I picked up a few sizes (18/20s) and headed to the dressing room.  I tried on the 20 first and they fit great but the material of the pant was so thick that I decided against buying them.  I wanted to see how close I was to an 18, so I stepped in, pulled them up, and my jaw hit the floor - THEY FIT!!!!  I buttoned and zipped them and I could BREATHE!!  It was so very exciting!  (I admit: the Hallelujah Chorus ran through my head.)

I think I was wearing an 18 in junior high... when I was 14.  It's been a long time... it's very exciting and strange at the same time.  When I look in the mirror, I don't see much of a difference.  But others are definitely seeing a difference.  And Jay even told me that my "back fat" (my words, not his) is disappearing (bless his heart...).

So, you may wonder what I am eating these days.  Still eating <1/2 cup of food at a time.  If I overeat, I feel horrible for hours.  I have craved very few things and, honestly, nothing is appealing to me.  I just eat because I have to.  I do get hungry sometimes, but I think it's more of a mind game than anything.  I see that it's lunch or dinner time and know that I need to eat something.  Exercising is also much more enjoyable now.  Jamie and I took a power walk yesterday since it was still 62 degrees outside when I got home from work.  It's amazing how much easier it is to move.

A brief recap:

• Heaviest weight: 353 lbs (yikes!)
• Weight after having Jamie (when I began my dieting (Weight Watchers)): 352 lbs
• Surgery weight: 291 lbs
• Current weight: 251 lbs
• I have lost 101 pounds in 14 months!  (60 lbs was pre-surgery) 
• Now wearing size 18/20

I'm feeling great and hope to post some pictures soon.  BUT - I can't take them of myself, so I'm going to have Jay take some for me. :)

God is good... all the time!